Happy Heart Yoga

I have recently hit on a theme in my conversations with others and in my own reflections, where we are afraid to think our thoughts; we are afraid of what we will find if we were to be completely honest with ourselves and expose our deepest thoughts. We are worried what our mind will reveal about us.

But the truth is that we are not our minds. We are not defined by the thoughts in our head. Thoughts are just functions of the brain - receptors firing off feedback from different inputs gathered through our senses. And yet we place so much weight on those thoughts because that is how we conceptualize ourselves and our lives. That is how we function. But who we are is so much deeper than our thoughts.

I went to a yoga nidra class last weekend. I had heard about the practice and I sort of knew what I was getting myself into but I did not know what my reaction would be to the class. The format of the class included some movement to get the body warmed up, then about an hour of guided savasana meditation. It felt like awake sleeping. Being pregnant, I cannot stay in one position for too long without getting uncomfortable. So, about half way through the meditation, I felt the urge to move. I started worrying and feeling guilty and, ultimately, second guessing myself. I worried about the baby - was I sitting at too deep of an incline for him to get adequate blood flow? Was he alright? I started feeling guilty about being so distracted and potentially moving positions, thus disturbing the teacher or the people around me. Then, I started second guessing myself- did I really need to move or should I just suck it up and stick with the position I was in? Or was it my body signaling that it was time for a change and it would be beneficial to both me and the babe to move? 

This is an example of something that I have experienced and heard expressed often from others. There are many points in our self-discovery journey where we second guess ourselves and become confused by the difference between our intuition and fear. We don’t know whether to keep going, keep digging and moving deeper, or whether to stop and rest or readjust. 

It is a common human tendency to overextend ourselves - to stretch ourselves too thin.

It can be a way of life for some people and for others just a habit that reoccurs over time or in specific situations. I have been thinking a lot about this tendency recently. For the first time in my life, I am very aware of when I am doing this (or tempted to) and have been working on allowing myself to step back and let go the desire to overextend. 

HOW IT SHOWS UP

There are many ways we do this. Some examples in life where we over extend ourselves can be with work, social engagements, general time commitments, staying busy, exercise and dieting, etc. We don’t allow ourselves to slow down, to rest, or to care for ourselves. The act of overextension is draining and unsustainable. We may think we are invincible and we can “rest later,” but the truth is, it takes a toll on our health and our wellbeing, if not immediately, then definitely in the long run.

Never has change been more apparent to me then during pregnancy. Everyday brings something new. My daily abilities and mobility change minute to minute. Growth and expansion are so apparent. My yoga practice has also changed so much with some poses being completely inaccessible to me all of sudden. At first glance, this can be frustrating and depressing. But then I realize that the frustration is a result of trying to hold on to a past identity or grasping at what I was once able to do. I can look at my tummy expanding and get fearful that I will never be the same size and shape I was before this pregnancy. I can watch my flexibilty and muscle mass decrease and worry about how long it will take me to regain it back.

Change can be hard to digest and scary to face, especially when it is so apparent and noticeable.  It is extremely confronting. It makes me realize that I am getting older and will never be the same as I was a year ago. 

The truth is that we are all changing every moment of every day.

I recently got an email from a reader that is struggling with making a big life change. She wants to make a career shift but is struggling with motivation since she is comfortable where she is. She doesn’t NEED the change but she WANTS it. 

I have been in this exact same position many times and I know so many people that have been in it as well. I feel like it is a right of passage, of sorts, on the career path. We find a job, we enjoy it, we get bored, we want a change but we don’t know how to start.

The truth is, it is scary to take on a big life change — especially one that involves our livelihood and finances. For some reason it feels like too great of a risk to go after our hopes and dreams when money is involved. Seeking pleasure in career is a hard sell when you are making enough money to be comfortable. 

In fact, being comfortable but not fulfilled is one of the most dangerous and daunting positions we can be in.

Here is a question I have wondered about for quite some time now: What is the best approach to take when you know you want and need to be creative, but the inspiration or direction isn’t there?

Recently, this question has been really present on my mind. For the last two weeks, I haven’t felt inspired to write a new blog post. I haven’t had a direction in mind or a good idea for what I should focus on. When this happens, I always wonder if I should push myself to write something or just take a break and wait for inspiration to strike.

This time, I took the “wait and see” approach and I haven’t written a blog post for two weeks (and what I do end up writing revolves around this dilemma I am having). But I wonder if I took a more active approach and scheduled a specific time to write, maybe I would have come up with something sooner. 

One way isn’t right or wrong, but perhaps one could be more effective. 

I have been practicing and meditating on loving kindness for the past couple of weeks and it has had a huge impact on my state of being - mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual.

With everything going on in the US and in the world, I can easily get consumed with frustration, anger, and despair. There is a place for frustration and anger and despair - the emotions themselves are not bad - it is the effect that they have that can become harmful. What I notice is that when I am angry, I brood; I get caught up in unpleasant thoughts that can spiral out of control. It darkens my mood and the mood of others around me. I even catch myself saying or doing harmful things. 

When we are angry, we have to measure our actions to ensure we are not acting out of anger or hatred. When we act of our anger, we end up hurting ourselves and others. 

So, we have to redirect ourselves toward love and act from a place of loving kindness. 

Never underestimate the impact that love can have. When we act out of love instead of anger, we can still take strong stands, impact a course of events, and affect the world. 

This week, in addition to my daily morning routine, I have been experimenting more with figuring out an effective evening routine. A lot of times, when it is time to go to bed I don’t feel ready, I drag my feet to start getting ready for bed, and I end up laying awake for a long time trying to invoke sleep. 

In the past, whenever I have taken more time to intentionally prepare for bed I always ended up feeling better and sleeping more easily.

And since I have been having some trouble getting a good night's rest recently, I figured it would be a good idea to create an evening routine.

When I have implemented successful evening routines, I have experienced the following benefits:

• I am able to close out the day on a positive note. There is always so much to do and I want to get as much time as possible with my loved ones. So, it can be hard to pull myself away from my day to get ready for bed. It feels so final and I sometimes don’t want the day to end so I get grumpy. But when I have an evening routine, I feel happier about winding down the day - I even look forward to it sometimes because I know it will help me relax and let go.
• I am better prepared for a good night's sleep. I feel more relaxed after doing an evening routine and I end up sleeping better. Rather than abruptly ending my day and jumping right into bed, a morning routine helps me calm down at a slower pace, which sets me up to sleep soundly.
• I am more intentional about creating an environment for sleep. When I am preparing for or doing an evening routine, I am more aware of what helps me sleep and what distracts me. I am less likely to check social media before I fall asleep or get into deep conversations with my partner because I realize that these prevent me from falling asleep.
• My mind is calmer. I am less “thoughty” and I worry less about little things after doing an evening routine. The actions I take help to slow down the racing of my thoughts and calm my concerns about the day.