I recently got an email from a reader that is struggling with making a big life change. She wants to make a career shift but is struggling with motivation since she is comfortable where she is. She doesn’t NEED the change but she WANTS it.
I have been in this exact same position many times and I know so many people that have been in it as well. I feel like it is a right of passage, of sorts, on the career path. We find a job, we enjoy it, we get bored, we want a change but we don’t know how to start.
The truth is, it is scary to take on a big life change — especially one that involves our livelihood and finances. For some reason it feels like too great of a risk to go after our hopes and dreams when money is involved. Seeking pleasure in career is a hard sell when you are making enough money to be comfortable.
In fact, being comfortable but not fulfilled is one of the most dangerous and daunting positions we can be in. We have all been there - in career, in relationships, in where we are living, etc. It is not bad, by any means, it is just one of the most difficult positions from which to make a change.
The scariest part is the leap — the transition between being comfortable and being fulfilled.
It brings up self-doubt, fear, worry. We know it will be uncomfortable to go through that transition towards change. It is uncomfortable just thinking about it. Are we good enough; do we deserve happiness; do we deserve to be fulfilled; are we just being selfish when so many people don’t even have what we have right now? Or, worst of all — what if I end up with nothing?
There are so many reasons to NOT change.
The truth is, you have to really want it. You have to be wiling to be uncomfortable in order to make a change and take a leap in the the unknown.
So, the question is: how do we find (and maintain) the desire to change when it is hard and uncomfortable?
I don’t claim to have all the answers or know the silver-bullet solution to this age-old question.
But I can share some thoughts that may serve as encouragement as we are faced with these challenging life situations.
When we are faced with a big-life change, the most important steps we can take are:
- Get Super Clear on the WHY. Know why you want a change. Get super clear on this and make sure it is compelling. You want a good reason for changing, which you can come back to when you hit up against challenges. This will be the fuel to propel you through the difficulty of change.
- Focus on Abundance and Stay Open to Possibility. Stay open to the possibility that the perfect opportunity is out there. If we get wrapped up in fear we will become paralyzed. At some point we just have to settle into trust that the right opportunity is out there waiting. It might not be the perfect one you have been dreaming of, but it will take you a step forward towards finding that perfect one.
- Do the Right Behaviors. Do the right work, take the necessary steps that will put you in a position to discover and accept the opportunity when it opens up to you. Keep doing the research, putting yourself out there, trying new things, testing your boundaries. All the while, knowing that it might not happen right away but the more you develop the right habits, the more ready you will be when the right opportunity comes your way.
I fully believe that our paths become clear to us when both we, and the path itself, are ready. We cannot force it to happen but we can work towards it and make sure we are prepared to accept it.
We never know when the opportunity will strike and we also cannot force it to happen. But we can set ourselves up, as best as possible, to accept the opportunity whenever it opens.
Change is hard and scary, especially when we are in a comfortable position. What are you willing to go through to make a change? If you are not willing to be uncomfortable then you won't do it. The biggest times of growth are when we are uncomfortable - when we push the boundaries and test what we are capable of.
You have, no doubt, done it before, so you can do it again. Just remember why you keep challenging yourself; stay open to the possibility that you can create a fulfilling and beautiful life; and keep doing the actions, taking the steps that move you toward that life.
Since we have most likely all been in a position where we want a change but struggle with the motivation to actually go through with it, I would love to hear your thoughts!
Please share in the comments below any tricks or strategies that you have used to help propel you through the discomfort of major life changes.