Never has change been more apparent to me then during pregnancy. Everyday brings something new. My daily abilities and mobility change minute to minute. Growth and expansion are so apparent. My yoga practice has also changed so much with some poses being completely inaccessible to me all of sudden. At first glance, this can be frustrating and depressing. But then I realize that the frustration is a result of trying to hold on to a past identity or grasping at what I was once able to do. I can look at my tummy expanding and get fearful that I will never be the same size and shape I was before this pregnancy. I can watch my flexibilty and muscle mass decrease and worry about how long it will take me to regain it back.
Change can be hard to digest and scary to face, especially when it is so apparent and noticeable. It is extremely confronting. It makes me realize that I am getting older and will never be the same as I was a year ago.
The truth is that we are all changing every moment of every day. We are experiencing new feelings and thoughts, our bodies are adjusting to the elements and environment around us. We are constantly growing and changing. One day, our muscles stronger and sore from a work out. Another day, our bodies are lazy and sluggishly digesting food. Or our minds are sharp and focused one week and the next we lack all motivation and mental stamina.
But we try to fool ourselves with our standard routines and with our thoughts. We pretend that everything is the same, every day.
And, because we forget to acknowledge the little changes, we are all of a sudden caught off guard when a major change strikes. We can even become outraged and frustrated that something has happened to disrupt our make-believe consistency.
At times like these, it is important to step back decide how we want to move forward through life. Do we want to dig our feet in the ground and resist the changes, becoming afraid of every new wrinkle, ache and pain, every loss? Or do we want to gracefully accept the changes as a part of the experience of life and enjoy every second of it?
Either way, the change is still going to take place.
All we can control is our reaction to it.
Handling Change with Grace
A lot of suffering can come from the inability to accept the impermanence of life and all living things. But how do we do that? How do we accept the constant changes and move towards grace, even when the changes and impermanence become annoying or even threatening toward our personal identity?
Here are a few ideas and mindset shifts that I have been working on as I go through this major change:
- Accept & surrender to the fact that change is constant. If we acknowledge and become more present to the constant changes, maybe we will be able to accept the little and the big changes with more grace. Overtime, we can warm ourselves up to the fact that our bodies are growing older, less elastic. We can get used to the idea that we will never have the same figure or metabolism that we did in high school. But if we pretend it is not happening or deny the process of change, we get caught off guard when it finally became too apparent to ignore.
- Work with the change not against it. Instead of feeling powerless in the face of change, we can recognize that we have the power to make ourselves healthier and happier not in spite of change but because of it. We don’t have to be stuck in our ways or our outdated habits. Instead, we can readjust with the changes and take the necessary steps to maintain health or redirect ourselves towards positive growth.
- Acknowledge all the GOOD changes that are happening. Change can be for the positive, too! We can sometimes fail to recognize the good growth and changes that are happening and we focus mainly on the difficult changes. So, it is important to make sure that we are giving ourselves credit and recognizing what is going well. Acknowledge the good habits that you are creating, the steps you are taking to live a better life, the opportunities that are opening up for you.
- Focus on love and gratitude. If we get overwhelmed by change, we can turn to gratitude and acknowledge all that we are getting out of life in exchange for the changes. To live more graceful we have to learn how to LOVE the natural process of life, which is by nature full of change.
- Be present to life in all of its changing beauty & mystery. Life is full of mystery and beauty. So are we. It is contrary to our existence to remain static and unchanging. Nothing is permanent, which is frightening if we fight it and liberating if we accept it.
Most of all, it is important to recognize that life is rich because of the constant, daily changes that are taking place. Why waste it holding on to a past state that was never permanent.
