I have been talking with several friends over the last month or so who have been struggling with relationship strife. They were each in a position where they had to make a decision. And here is they hard part, they thought they had made a decision when in reality they were still leaving it open to what if -- to the possibility of not having to commit to a decision that is so hard to make. This is a dangerous but sneaky position of indecision. And it happens all the time in life around major decisions, especially the difficult ones.
This sneaky indecision is dangerous because, for all intensive purposes, a decision has been made. But somewhere inside doesn't want to let go just yet. So we hold on and hold out. We do not truly draw a line in the sand just in case.
It presented for me this tendency that we all have, at one point or another, to avoid making a decision- truly deciding what it is we need for ourselves. We can all get caught running circles around the discomfort of a decision and, as a escape mechanism, avoid truly deciding.
This robs us of any chance of finding resolution. And it is a tendency that is based in self-doubt. But the truth is that we will never know if a decision is right or wrong unless we ACTUALLY MAKE A DECISION firm and outright.
Noting much comes from indecision except pain and confusion for ourselves and others. But at least once we truly make a decision and stick with it, we open up the possibility of knowing if it was the right one or not. And yes, sometimes we will make the wrong decision but at least we will learn a concrete lesson from it. And we will increase our ability to trust ourselves through this practice of making choices and sticking to them long enough to know if it was right. Making decisions takes a lot of trust.
This does not mean that we should run, headstrong and reckless into making decisions. But once you have settled on a decision that, to the best of your understanding, furthers your highest good - in heart, mind, and body - stick with it. Give yourself a chance to follow through on it. Act like you mean it. Otherwise you will never know if it was the right one or not.
With indecision comes confusion and self-doubt, but with decision comes growth. And who doesn't want to grow and develop and build self-trust? Not you, I imagine, since you are reading this. :)