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Sgt. Perry's Happy Heart Blog

inspiration to spread happiness

With this blog, my hope is to share the insights I gather on my journey to help inspire you on yours.

Ask for what you need

April 19, 2016

Speak up for yourself. Ask for what you want. Know that there is a possibility that you might not get it. Know that if you do get it, it might not show up as you expect it to. But just the process of voicing your needs is a powerful exercise in self understanding and self trust. 

Personally, there are times that I am hesitant to speak up for myself and ask for what I need either because I am not always clear about what exactly I want or because I am worried that it will inconvenience someone around me. 

What I am beginning to understand is that it is important to get clear on what I need before I ask for something. That may seem obvious but it is easy to find ourselves wanting support, wanting help or guidance but not truly knowing what we are looking for. There can also be a tendency to look to someone else to show us what we need rather than taking the time to figure it out for ourselves. If we are not clear on what we are asking for, there is no way we will be satisfied with what we get back. So, clarity is the first major step when working on voicing our needs.

The second major step that I am working on is to let go of the concern that I will inconvenience others by voicing my true needs. The fact is that it is never an inconvenience to ask for what we need. However, it does become imposing when we demand that we get exactly what we want or force our needs on other people. There is a fine line there. It is important that we voice our needs and work towards fulfilling them, but we cannot demand that others do it for us or give us something they are unable to give. We can ask for help and support but we cannot expect others to solve our problems. If we do, we start to blur the lines of self and lose faith in our own ability to discern and take care of our own needs. (Which in turn leads us to unhealthy attachments to the people around us and inhibits true, unconditional love.)

In addition, we can ask the Universe for what we need, but we cannot tell it how to provide it. It is important to be clear what we are asking for but not put so many stipulations on the request that we don't recognize the support or guidance when it is presented to us. With too many specifics or requirements, we could miss out on a great opportunity or close ourselves off to possibilities we haven't considered yet. 

We cannot know how our wishes and desires will manifest in the world. So, once we put something out there, the key is to stay open to how that request will show up. Julia Cameron puts it best in her book, The Vein of Gold: “You’re supposed to be asking the universe for help, not telling it how you’d like it delivered.”

Ultimately our needs are our own responsibility. We have to find clarity around what it is we need -- that which will serve our highest good -- and voice those needs to put them out in the world. That is the start. Then we must be open to when and how that message is received. This practice of clarity, voice, and openness will build trust in not only ourselves but in the Universe. 

Tags speak up, voice, speaking your truth, ask, build trust
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