I believe each of us have certain life lessons that we are meant to learn in our lifetime and we are presented with similar situations over and over again until we learn it. Or maybe, for the really difficult lessons — the ones that are embedded deep within our being and tied up in our behaviors— we have to face the same challenge over and over again in order to finally wake up to it.
Whatever the reason is or how it shows up, it is hard to deny that the path to self is paved in patterns. Some of these patterns are healthy and some are unhealthy. It is the unhealthy patterns that throw us off the path and take us further away from self. And the healthy patterns help set us back on our path. Unhealthy patterns are usually marked with turmoil and pain. The healthy patterns bring a sense of peace and calm.
For me personally, one of the biggest unhealthy patterns in my recent history was built around my relationships. I kept getting into unhealthy relationships. These unhealthy relationships were marked by a lot of emotional pain and heartache. But most of the pain was my own doing. Several years ago I finally woke up to the pattern. What I found was that I was picking people that I knew were not right for me, that couldn’t give me what I needed nor I, them. I had this deep-seated, subconscious belief that unconditional love does not exist. So, I kept putting myself into patterns and situations to prove that belief. It was this weird blend of subconscious beliefs, conscious habits, denial, and fantasy.
Anyways, by recognizing the pattern, digging into it to see where it was coming from and how it was showing up in my life, I was able to release it. I made the subconscious conscious, learned some major life lessons and moved on. Not too long after this realization, I met my husband and began one of the only truly loving, caring, and intentional relationships (not to mention laughter-filled) that I have ever experienced. It was as if the universe was rewarding me for unlocking the pattern. By unlocking it, I was able to understand myself on an whole new level and began to piece together the connection between my conscious and unconscious desires.
So that is an example of my own experience with these life patterns. There are others that I have been working with and there will no doubt be many more to come in my lifetime.
Not all patterns revolve around relationships, although that is definitely a major place they can show up. Other places where we may find unhealthy patterns include our emotional habits and behaviors, mental habits, how we treat ourselves, how we relate to others, physical practices and addictions, even in our career and lifestyle choices. The characters, location, and details may change but there is the same heartache or turmoil wrapped up in a pattern.
These unhealthy patterns are not bad or shameful, but the power comes when we recognize them and take the necessary steps to move past them. Then, with our increased awareness and knowledge of self, we can begin to create healthy patterns in their place.
What patterns have you noticed or have you been able to unlock in your life?
Is there an area of your life that feels like a repeated or continual cycle of turmoil and confusion? Perhaps that is an indication of an area where an unconscious pattern exists for you to unlock.
Check back in tomorrow, when I will post a guided meditation, focused on opening ourselves up to unhealthy patterns.