Explorations on feeling grounded amidst change
Life is constant change. We are constantly moving and growing and changing. Every day is different. But sometimes it is much harder. During those major life shifts or transitions, when change feels particularly hard, we can completely lose our center. We forget what it means to feel grounded. We find ourselves having to pick up the pieces of normal life and figure out a way to move forward. But how do we do that? How do we rediscover our center and come back to that feeling of being grounded?
I am currently in an active exploration around what it means to feel grounded and how to come back to center amongst constant change (i.e. life). Informally, I have been experimenting with it for quite some time. Here’s what I mean. Two and a half years ago, I moved with my husband from the US to Argentina and, since then, we have been traveling often. There is nothing like moving countries and traveling frequently to shake your sense of balance. Everything is different – the food, the language, the culture, the lifestyle, the currency, and even the seasons are opposite. So much has changed for me, everything from my eating and sleeping habits to my career and daily routine. That, along with traveling back and forth to visit friends and family, has altered my sense of “home-base,” which seems to change constantly. Throughout it all, I have had to figure out a way to find balance and stability amidst all of these changes.
There are many transitions on the horizon and my hope is to manifest even more grounding in this new year. In order move gracefully through the changes it is important to understand what grounding means and how we can come back to it.
What Grounding Means:
When I think back to times I have felt grounded and those times that I have felt ungrounded, here is what I come up with:
When we are grounded we are able to go with the flow and relax more easily. We feel more secure and stable in our sense of welfare and wellbeing. We feel like we can settle in to who we are and recognize our own humanity. We find that we are able to trust more and worry less. We are also able to give more love and attention outward since we are not using up all of our resources on ourselves.
When we are not grounded, we feel stressed and anxious. Even small stressors or inconveniences feel like a huge curve ball thrown into our life plan. We are less able to deal with change gracefully. We start to feel needy and attached to the people and things around us as we grasp on to any semblance of consistency. Doubt and worry set in. We fear for our security, safety, financial stability, health, and so on.
Those are completely different experiences and looking at them side by side makes it crystal clear why it is so important to feel grounded and centered.
How to Cultivate Grounding
As I look back over the last couple of years, I realize that I have gotten better and more skilled at settling back into a sense of grounding amidst change. The more you are in ambiguity, the more comfortable you can become with it. But what is it that changes? What are the factors that contribute to us feeling more centered?
Well, here are my initial thoughts on how to cultivate more grounding:
Establish Routine. Establishing a routine is one of the biggest keys to feeling grounded after a transition. For me, having something to keep me moving and engaged was a lifesaver – whether it was a work schedule, errands, plans, or social engagements. My routine helped me to create just enough structure in my day so that I wouldn’t just sit around feeling lost or sorry for myself. Routine can be strict or flexible or somewhere in between, but I have found that I get the best results when my routine is flexible enough to prevent stagnation and rigidity. There is also a fine line between routine and busyness. Routine provides intentional structure; busyness is just mindless filler that distracts us from living.
Maintain a Physical Practice. I argue that the more we find strength and grounding in our physical practices, the more we can find grounding and stability in our lives, both mentally & emotionally. Personally, having my yoga practice was fundamental in making me feel more grounded when I moved countries. It was one of the things that didn’t change with the move. For me it was consistency; it was familiar when everything else was not.
Look for Opportunities. Everything that feels uncomfortable or scares us provides an opportunity for us to grow. When we first moved, I challenged myself to do one thing every day that took me out of my comfort zone. In truth, at the beginning everything was out of my comfort zone, but setting this challenge made it into a conscious effort, an experiment to see what I was capable of. Then, everything I did felt like an accomplishment. And feeling accomplished motivated me to do more and to keep putting myself out there.
Rest and Relax. Burnout is the opposite of grounding. It’s good to challenge ourselves and it is also important to give ourselves a break, get enough sleep, and rest when we need it. For me, lack of rest exaggerates any feelings of stress or worry. So, I cut myself a break. I rewarded myself for stepping out of my comfort zone by resting or by allowing myself to sit in and watch a favorite movie every once in awhile, for example. It was these times of rest that recharged me and allowed me to keep moving forward.
Find Community. Community can be a huge grounding force. After all, we can move across the world, change cities and still feel at home with certain people. Community includes family, friends, and loved ones. Establishing community can make or break a big change. For me, the community I have both in the States and in Argentina help make it possible to feel at home in these two completely different places.
Stay Put. Traveling is very important. However, when we are looking for more grounding and stability, it is best to stay put for awhile. Traveling takes us out of our routine and our local community, thus increasing feelings of instability, especially in a new place. It is hard to feel grounded when we are constantly up in the air. When we first moved, we didn’t leave the country for about six months. This helped me feel integrated and established where I was. It also gave me the time to discover all the beauty of the place where I live.
Be in Nature. The more we connect with the earth, the more grounded we will feel. Whenever I am going through a tough change, I know that spending time in nature will always make me feel better. Thankfully, our apartment is in a lovely part of town with several parks nearby. I am always grateful to have such beautiful green spaces in the city. Taking walks or just sitting in the grass helps me feel connected. We also try to intentionally spend time out of the city on nearby farms – or estancias, as they’re called here – where we can be outside, ride horses, and go for nature walks. I always feel rejuvenated afterwards.
For the Future
Major transitions are hard. It takes time to feel at home in a new place or be comfortable with a major live change. But it is possible. We have all done it before and figured it out one way or another. The key is to learn from the past and use that knowledge to aid us in the future.
What are your tricks for finding balance and grounding during major changes or transitions?