I taught a yoga class recently that was not my best. I felt scattered and unfocused. As a teacher you know when you have taught a powerful, insightful class and when you haven’t. Afterwards, I felt discouraged and disappointed with myself. I could feel the self-judgments arise quickly and sharply. Am I really that good of a teacher if I can get thrown off my game so easily? In my mind, it was as if one not-so-good class cancelled out all the good classes I have led in the past.
Shortly after the class, I sat down to journal about the experience. What I was able to process was that, although it may not have been my best nor did it meet up to my extremely high standards for myself, the class was not terrible. The students were happy after class and some even thanked me, saying that they enjoyed the class (which somehow got lost amongst all the negative thoughts in my mind).
So, instead of beating myself up about it and feeling like a lousy teacher, I reminded myself that I am human and I have “on-days” and “off-days” but, ultimately, teaching yoga is something that I love and am good at. I decided that I would look at this experience as an opportunity for improvement and growth.
Opportunity is motivating; negative self-talk is not motivating. It doesn’t help anyone to be negative. A lot of times people think that the negative self talk is good, that it keeps them on their game. But in truth, negativity only breeds more negativity. It creates a "less-than" mindset, a feeling that we are inherently invaluable and unworthy. It keeps us stuck in the ego, in the idea that we are separate.
Once we get into a downward spiral of negative self-talk, it is really hard to break out of the cycle and rise above it. The key is to try to break the cycle before you get pulled into its depths. Here are some ideas for defusing negative self-talk:
- Recognize it. Acknowledge when you are starting to careen down a path of negative thought. Identify the negative thoughts as they arise.
- Interrupt the thought pattern. Write down the negative thoughts or self-judgments as quickly as possible. Writing them down defuses their power.
- Reflect and redirect. In the moment, or later in the day when you have more time, reflect on the experience and rename the negative thoughts in a positive way. What were the positive aspects of the experience? What did you learn from it? Did the experience highlight a place for growth or change in your life?
- Create a positive mantra. Pick a positive phrase to use as a mantra for the rest of the day or the next several days. Call on this mantra in the future when you find yourself in a similar or related experience.
Negative thoughts do no have to define who we are. Ultimately, if we can release attachment to negative self-talk, we can find more happiness and peace in our lives. It is our responsibility as conscious, compassionate human beings to let go of negative thoughts and self-judgments. Practice is important as it can take some time to rewire our brains but it is possible. If we keep working at it, negative thoughts will show up less and less and positivity will become the norm. We will then start to understand the true, inherent value that we all have within us.